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  • So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

    . . . and tells you after the track season ends that she definitely plans on going to college, but she doesn't think she really wants to run anymore. How do you handle that?

  • #2
    STUDENT LOAN BABY, STUDENT LOAN! :twisted:
    phsstt!

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    • #3
      In all seriousness, I'd ask her not to close any doors - leave room to revisit the decsion, but ultimately it would defeat the purpose of running (and sport) to do it, if her heart weren't in it. I would not, however, want her to just quit without looking at all the reasons on why she wanted to quit. Perhaps there would be a 'solution' to her lack of desire.

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      • #4
        Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

        Originally posted by bekeselassie
        . . . and tells you after the track season ends that she definitely plans on going to college, but she doesn't think she really wants to run anymore. How do you handle that?

        I'd say that decision is totally up to her, that I've done the responsible thing as a parent and planned for her college education ahead of time. However, since she is going to earn an academic full ride anyway(she's the valedictorian of her middle school class going into high school) that money will be invested in her retirement fund, which will make her a millionaire at 40 even if she never adds to it.

        But that's me.
        https://twitter.com/walnuthillstrak

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        • #5
          Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

          Originally posted by guru
          Originally posted by bekeselassie
          . . . and tells you after the track season ends that she definitely plans on going to college, but she doesn't think she really wants to run anymore. How do you handle that?

          I'd say that decision is totally up to her, that I've done the responsible thing as a parent and planned for her college education ahead of time. However, since she is going to earn an academic full ride anyway(she's the valedictorian of her middle school class going into high school) that money will be invested in her retirement fund, which will make her a millionaire at 40 even if she never adds to it.

          But that's me.
          Being valedictorian of her MS class does not a full-ride in college make. My wife got 800M/790V on the SAT and either did not get a dime or only got a very small portion of college paid (did better in grad school).

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          • #6
            Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

            Originally posted by 26mi235
            Being valedictorian of her MS class does not a full-ride in college make.

            Of course it doesn't. But it certainly is reasonable to assume her academic excellence will continue into high school, and I can fairly safely assume if she's the valedictorian of her senior class she will earn an academic full ride just about anywhere. And colleges put a helluva lot more emphasis on class rank(in a good school) and AP class load/GPA than they do SAT/ACT scores when considering scholarship winners.

            But as I stated before that, and my MAIN point, is a responsible parent would begin planning for college as soon as that child is born(if not sooner). Her choice to run or not in college would be ENTIRELY her choice if she were my daughter. Entirely.
            https://twitter.com/walnuthillstrak

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            • #7
              Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

              Originally posted by bekeselassie
              . . . and tells you after the track season ends that she definitely plans on going to college, but she doesn't think she really wants to run anymore. How do you handle that?
              If she doesn't want to run anymore she's not going to perform well if you run behind her with a shotgun. So you might as well just move on.

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              • #8
                I'm completely with you guys about the whole motivation thing. There's not even a doubt that without motivation and passion, nobody can make it to the world-class level and be successful. But that's why I mentioned college. Could someone of her amazing talent maybe - just maybe - be able to do enough just to earn a scholarship and then compete at a level in college to maintain the scholarship?

                I'm not really motivated to come to work each day, but I gotta do what I gotta do.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by bekeselassie
                  Could someone of her amazing talent maybe - just maybe - be able to do enough just to earn a scholarship and then compete at a level in college to maintain the scholarship?
                  TOTALLY - happens all the time. I've seen college athletes who do their sport just to get the scholarship and social aspects of the sport, and don't care at all whether they get any better.

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                  • #10
                    Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

                    Originally posted by guru
                    Originally posted by 26mi235
                    Being valedictorian of her MS class does not a full-ride in college make.

                    Of course it doesn't. But it certainly is reasonable to assume her academic excellence will continue into high school, and I can fairly safely assume if she's the valedictorian of her senior class she will earn an academic full ride just about anywhere. And colleges put a helluva lot more emphasis on class rank(in a good school) and AP class load/GPA than they do SAT/ACT scores when considering scholarship winners.

                    But as I stated before that, and my MAIN point, is a responsible parent would begin planning for college as soon as that child is born(if not sooner). Her choice to run or not in college would be ENTIRELY her choice if she were my daughter. Entirely.
                    I still think that being valedictorian, even in HS, does not a full-ride in college make. It is easier to be valedictorian in most HS classes than to get 1590 (old method, where 800 was perfect, which implied that the person might have max a much harder test but was not given such a test) on the SATs and that 1590 was not, and rarely is the only accomplishment (e.g., in this case good enough for a BA/BS from Stanford (did she rub elbows with tafnut in the early 70s?) and a PhD in applied math from MIT, etc). Full academic rides are not quite as easy to get as you might think. Also, SOMEONE has to be valedictorian, even if the level is not stunningly high (and ours did not even have a 4.0 from a class of 700).

                    I do support someone pushing their sport enough to get a full ride where they want to go and then going for the academic advantages. I think that women's T&F is interesting because a number of top schools (Stanford, Harvard, Duke, etc) have top women, which is not the case with some other sports.

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                    • #11
                      Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

                      Originally posted by 26mi235
                      I still think that being valedictorian, even in HS, does not a full-ride in college make. It is easier to be valedictorian in most HS classes than to get 1590 (old method, where 800 was perfect, which implied that the person might have max a much harder test but was not given such a test) on the SATs and that 1590 was not, and rarely is the only accomplishment (e.g., in this case good enough for a BA/BS from Stanford (did she rub elbows with tafnut in the early 70s?) and a PhD in applied math from MIT, etc). Full academic rides are not quite as easy to get as you might think. Also, SOMEONE has to be valedictorian, even if the level is not stunningly high (and ours did not even have a 4.0 from a class of 700).

                      I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say if she is the valedictorian of this school she'll get an academic scholarship.

                      http://www.missionprep.com/
                      https://twitter.com/walnuthillstrak

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                      • #12
                        I think that we would sit down and make this decision "together". We would weigh her current goals and choice of school against our financial situation. Alternative methods of tuition payment would be considered.

                        If our financial situation was comfortable and paying or assisting in payment of tuition was feasible then I would allow her to choose her own path.

                        If our financial situation was unstable and payments on college tuition was not a possibility then we would weigh her financial aid package against her student loans. If four more years of running is going to make her post college life easier in contrast to graduating with a 300-800 a month student loan, I would take time to explain the financial burden that a large student loan can create.

                        It's easy to say that one would support their child with any decision that they make but what is the point of parenting if guidance is not given. Seeing a lot of my friends graduate from college with 40,000-80,000 or more in student loans makes me appreciate my scholarship that much more. I can't fathom a 300-800/month loan payment, 1000-2000 mortage or 500-1000 rent, 200-400 car payment, 150-300 car insurance payment, utilities, food, luxury, entertainment..... etc all on the national average of the salary for college grads with a bachelors degree. Of course the aforementioned does not apply to all college graduates and in many cases is extreme and others modest but I think my point was made.

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                        • #13
                          Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

                          Originally posted by bekeselassie
                          . . . and tells you after the track season ends that she definitely plans on going to college, but she doesn't think she really wants to run anymore. How do you handle that?
                          The first thing I'd do is ask myself what I had done wrong because if I were her father, the one thing I would have tried to make sure of all along is that she was having fun doing what she was doing and that she was not burning herself out mentally and emotially. Of course, with kids, you can do everything right and still have things go wrong, but in this situation, my initial reaction would be to wonder if I had, indeed, done everything right.

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                          • #14
                            Re: So Jordan Hasay's your daughter . . .

                            Originally posted by tandfman
                            The first thing I'd do is ask myself what I had done wrong because if I were her father, the one thing I would have tried to make sure of all along is that she was having fun doing what she was doing. . . .
                            Qualifier: I am not a father.

                            tandfman, I guess that would be a natural response at first. But I suppose a child can do something they're initially excited about get even more excited as success comes their way. But as time wears on they just lose interest. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong. But I hear what you're saying. You'd want to know what she was thinking and feeling every step of the way.

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                            • #15
                              No problem. I don't don't think a parent's love for their kids should be conditional on how fast or far they run. 8)

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