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You might be a Floridian if:
· You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names
of Charley, Frances or Ivan
· Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time
· You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent
the house color
· You think of your hall closet/safe room as "cozy"
· Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"
· Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it
· You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months
· You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster
· You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really
means
· You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from
your neighborhood
· Your Street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted
· You now own 5 large ice chests
· Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"
· You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations
· You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power
company trucks come down your street
· You're depressed when they don't stop
· You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood,
roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer
· You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own
sand bags
· You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw
· You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" saw
· You know what "Bar chain oil" is
· You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and
face shield for Christmas
· You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable
· You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry
ice"
· Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"
· You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around
in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor
across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn't get electric
And finally, you might be a Floridian if:
· You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate
classifieds!
*********
A special news conference was held in Tallahassee to inform the people of
Florida of new state symbols. The changes take effect immediately and must be
implemented by all official agencies. The changes are as follows:
The Florida State Flag will now be a blue tarp
The license plate symbol of an orange will be replaced by a chainsaw
The new State song will be "Blowing in the Wind"
The state motto will now be..."Oh SHIT, Here comes another one"
The new state beverages will be bottled water and home made wine.
The new State Bird will be the "whipper"will
The new State nickname will be "State of Disaster" or "State of Confusion"
The new State tree will be whatever is left standing at the end of the
hurricane>>
(This originally posted under my nom de plume of "Class Clown" but I inadvertently left the original address line on it, and Asterix busted me! I have reposted under me not to avoid the bust but so that my brother-in-law's e-mail address isn't in a public forum.)
· You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names
of Charley, Frances or Ivan
· Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time
· You're looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent
the house color
· You think of your hall closet/safe room as "cozy"
· Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"
· Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it
· You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months
· You, too, haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster
· You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really
means
· You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from
your neighborhood
· Your Street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted
· You now own 5 large ice chests
· Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"
· You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations
· You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power
company trucks come down your street
· You're depressed when they don't stop
· You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood,
roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer
· You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own
sand bags
· You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw
· You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" saw
· You know what "Bar chain oil" is
· You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and
face shield for Christmas
· You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable
· You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry
ice"
· Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"
· You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around
in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor
across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn't get electric
And finally, you might be a Floridian if:
· You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate
classifieds!
*********
A special news conference was held in Tallahassee to inform the people of
Florida of new state symbols. The changes take effect immediately and must be
implemented by all official agencies. The changes are as follows:
The Florida State Flag will now be a blue tarp
The license plate symbol of an orange will be replaced by a chainsaw
The new State song will be "Blowing in the Wind"
The state motto will now be..."Oh SHIT, Here comes another one"
The new state beverages will be bottled water and home made wine.
The new State Bird will be the "whipper"will
The new State nickname will be "State of Disaster" or "State of Confusion"
The new State tree will be whatever is left standing at the end of the
hurricane>>
(This originally posted under my nom de plume of "Class Clown" but I inadvertently left the original address line on it, and Asterix busted me! I have reposted under me not to avoid the bust but so that my brother-in-law's e-mail address isn't in a public forum.)
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