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The Horrible Script for Zürich 2008 packaged as Joke

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  • lonewolf
    replied
    Originally posted by Marlow
    Originally posted by lonewolf
    A truly impressive feat. I did not know there was a top 25 list and have no asperations of joining that elite group but I congratulate " Marlow" on spotting me a four year lead and nearly lapping me in less than a year.
    Uh oh, time for Marlow to join tafnut in the Witless Protection Program?! :shock:
    Nah, Marlow should be good for another 20,000 posts, otherwise there is a danger of running out of available screen names.

    Leave a comment:


  • Marlow
    replied
    Originally posted by lonewolf
    A truly impressive feat. I did not know there was a top 25 list and have no asperations of joining that elite group but I congratulate " Marlow" on spotting me a four year lead and nearly lapping me in less than a year.
    Uh oh, time for Marlow to join tafnut in the Witless Protection Program?! :shock:

    Leave a comment:


  • lonewolf
    replied
    A truly impressive feat. I did not know there was a top 25 list and have no asperations of joining that elite group but I congratulate " Marlow" on spotting me a four year lead and nearly lapping me in less than a year.

    Leave a comment:


  • wineturtle
    replied
    Originally posted by tafnut
    Originally posted by lonewolf
    if our old friend tafnut were still among us your response would surely win a Tafny for the longest non-response to trolls in the history of not-responding to trolls. Entertaining Division.
    I have been observing from far atop Mount Olimpuss. As lonewolf spaketh, so shall it be.
    Marlow joins tafnut on the top 25 most prolific posters list!!

    Leave a comment:


  • lonewolf
    replied
    Yeah, now that I am beyond my initial confusion, realizing there is nothing there to be confused about, I kinds enjoy Matts musing. And, he certainly inspires some imaginative entertaining responses.

    Leave a comment:


  • cladthin
    replied
    Matt M. Idiot(t)
    Track and Field News plant.
    Must be a moderator trying to liven the place up a bit. Does "he" show up on slow or in this case, non, news days?

    Just noticed, no use of "illuminati" this time around but at least we have the nugget that a secret society is running Switzerland-Dead Poets?

    Those dirty Swiss, I knew they were never truly neutral. Hiding behind their fine watches, army knives, gold bars, billion dollar bank accounts and millions of pounds of chocolate and cheese lurks evil.

    Thanks Matt. :x ops: :cry: :wink: :roll: :evil: :!: :?: :arrow: :idea: :?

    Leave a comment:


  • EPelle
    replied
    Originally posted by Marlow
    Epelle, whatever you ingested just before you wrote that is some serious sh*t! :shock:
    Put all 20.000 words in one post instead of spreading them throughout 30 over the day ;-)

    Leave a comment:


  • SQUACKEE
    replied
    Originally posted by tafnut
    I have been observing from far atop Mount Olimpuss. As lonewolf spaketh, so shall it be.
    Dats funny tafnut! I nominate you fer a Marlee.

    Leave a comment:


  • tafnut
    replied
    Originally posted by lonewolf
    if our old friend tafnut were still among us your response would surely win a Tafny for the longest non-response to trolls in the history of not-responding to trolls. Entertaining Division.
    I have been observing from far atop Mount Olimpuss. As lonewolf spaketh, so shall it be.

    Leave a comment:


  • lonewolf
    replied
    Epelle, thank you for the insight into Matts background, It is all clear now. I am certain if our old friend tafnut were still among us your response would surely win a Tafny for the longest non-response to trolls in the history of not-responding to trolls. Entertaining Division.

    Leave a comment:


  • Marlow
    replied
    Epelle, whatever you ingested just before you wrote that is some serious sh*t! :shock:

    Leave a comment:


  • SQUACKEE
    replied
    Bravo! my fav....... a miracle out of unlucky bastards whose last pay check went up in smoke on a horse who ran out of gas down the stretch

    Leave a comment:


  • EPelle
    replied
    Matthew "Nicky" Marriott:s true name is Shirley. Nicky is not a man, but a woman who wears low heels - unless it is a thursday, where she has every week for the past 14 years without exception had on her six-inch pumps and shops at her local market in search of love in the isle nearest to the immitation prune juice. This wasn:t a thursday, however - it was a tuesday, and it was the final hour of a very rotten day which closed out the year 1974.

    Sixteen lousy seconds remained on the clock before the quick switch to the new year was meant to make a new you out of everyone alive with the exception of Shirley Anne Buckwheat, the second of four children born to Millie Paige and Stanley Lee on the fourth day of the seventh month since lightening first struck twice in the same spot on the farm and killed a milk cow - a conspiracy her father used to say...an accident, the insurance company said...and 1956 according to state records.

    Shirley had endured a long and tumultuous december month - one which would see the budget alllocated for her talk-show, Shirley:s PomPoms, cut and bring an end to the free speech she enjoyed providing and was afforded by a gentleman higher up the food chain, whose salary level was in a postal code outside of her wildest dreams. Shirley:s musings and macho talk were first what were enlightening to the masses, but it was her uncanny ability to predict random and unforeseen events square-on which made a believer out of cynics... a god out of the lonely... a miracle out of unlucky bastards whose last pay check went up in smoke on a horse who ran out of gas down the stretch.

    Folks called in...wanted to hear more... needed to get a fix on important things like the next lottery numbers... if their spouses were cheating on them... and the winning team in the Rose Bowl. They didn:t care that she was a woman - or that she smelled like cigarettes, only that the damn tickets they bought could be turned into cash and more booze and babes could be purchased with that money. Her boss, an Ivy League-type, only cared about the profet turning a profit so that he could eventually make the cover of GQ.

    All was grand, and went according to plan. Three years later, in January 1972, Shirley got a raise, a new microphone, a new time slot and, most importantly, a new toll free number and a national audience. Naturally, she couldn:t have been any happier - or more frustrated, as she could see into the future, and knew of her ultimate demise, namely that she would eventually be on a clear path to the inevitable - one which led straight to the unemployment office under the name Bambi.

    Word spread of Shirley:s PomPom:s... folks knew that when she shook those at the end of the show, something incredible would happen... a lost dog somewhere in the country would return home... an unfriendly post delivery man would sit down for a piece of pie... a beautiful woman would wink at an ugly chap wearing floods... accidents would continue to befall unwanted people...the Thanksgiving Day snowstorm was on its way.

    The night was about to draw to a close. The clock was soon to strike midnight. She:d watched an earlier newscast on the six-o-clock evening news of the final predictions she:d made: Catfish Hunter was signed by the Yankees... Nebraska was up three on Florida in the Sugar Bowl - just as she had stated, and as callers had thankfully reminder her in the closing hours before her microphone was muted for the final time. What she couldn:t bear, however, was the shape and manner in which she knew she:d go out of the business - and be out of business, once-and-for-all.

    31-December-1974
    23.59.44


    Shirley is at centre stage at The Governer:s Mansion at Detroit:s City Centre, and was leading the masses in the final words of the customary Aud Lang Syne...

    And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
    And gives a hand o’ thine !


    Then it happened in one fell swoop. WTF?!

    Single women covered their mouths with their hands in disbelief...married ones covered their husbands eyes...children were whisked under the tables. Horny bastards stood there with their champagne glasses raised high above the crowds. The air first grew silent in shock. Then the room was consumed with laughter and jeers. Confusion turned into championing the cause for tighter bras and less loose-fit blouses.

    The inevitable had happened - despite Shirley:s fight against it.

    She had a nipple slip in public.

    Television camera men - staring through tight little peek holes zoomed in on Shirley - were frozen in disbelief and continued rolling on film. Despite the network:s plea to cut to commercial, the producer, awaiting a big bang and a splash to end the new year, dared not deter from the action, knowing that this was his answered ticket to the big leagues.

    Long story short, Shirley was removed from stage in utter humuliation, and driven by a taxi driver with a scruffy beard and a missing left front tooth to a local hotel by captain:s orders. The driver, having not a clue what had previously occured, made a comment on Shirley:s inner beauty and charm.

    Sixteen days later, on a thursday, they were married and moved to Dallas. Shirley changed names to Debbie and later got a very bad reputation involving men, cheerleaders and pom-poms which, to this day, young boys across America can learn about in first-hand on the internets.

    Her husband, Matthew, divorced her and left her for a civil servant some 10 years later after having an affair at a Marriott Hotel outside of a large metropolitan area.

    Revenge has been on Shirley:s mind ever since the day the judge threw out her lawsuit charging her husband with being unfaithful.

    "According to what I have heard," he said in his closing statement in the case, "you have gotten around." Not just in Dallas, but in New Orleans and Wall Street, as well."

    Shirley to this day has been charging that the government has interfered with her life and is simply doing what she can to help other precious men and women out there avoid the same catastrophe which can ruin the lives of former porn queens. She later met a nice old man with a bundle of cash in Aisle 4 between the orange juice and the prune juice; he:d been constipated and needed a quick remedy. He excused himself and said he:d be right back... that thursday was his day to go to the market.

    Never been seen or heard from since, and that was some time ago.

    The point to be made is that one shouldn:t be so hard on her, because she does have some power, don:t forget.

    A great man here once wrote the following excellent observation about MM: Actually, as I type this, I just remembered my policy about responding to trolls. Talk about them not to them. He's a troll people.

    Then, poof...gone... he disappears... swallowed into the depths of the earth - somewhere on a deserted island? No post cards, no hate mail - simply vanished. UFO?

    People, beware of the power of the dark side from which Matt Marriott - er, Shirley - cometh, lest ye happen upon an unfortunate "accident", you as well.

    Leave a comment:


  • lonewolf
    replied
    Has anyone considered that Matts mutterings may be created by an artificial intelligence robot that strings words together without aim, purpose or coherence?
    Has he ever responded to an inquiry? He has thicker skin than our most impervious posters. Perhaps there is no one there.

    Leave a comment:


  • Flumpy
    replied
    Re: The Horrible Script for Zürich 2008 packaged as Joke

    Originally posted by mump boy

    or at least try an explain himself coherently so we would all know the threat and rise up :P
    Completely. Bonkers as he clearly is I'd actually like to try and understand what he's going on about. But seeing as he fails to understand the most basic principles of sentence structure, I fear we're all doomed

    Leave a comment:

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