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  • Great Gawd-Awful Movies...

    I watched part of a new one (to me, though it was made in 1959) on TMC this morning: The Killer Shrews. Several men on and a sexy blonde on an island with hundreds of starving over-sized shrews, which are very seldom seen. Almost all the action is inside a single room with everyone talking about how dangerous it would be to go outside. The blonde (an actress named Ingrid Goude) has such a heavy scandanavian accent that she is almost incomprehensible. Stupendous, mind-bogglingly horrible writing, acting and editing

    At one point the hero delivers this great line: "Say, let me tell you something, I'm only interested in things that affect ME!"

    And there is a hispanic character who spanglishes every line. Handing a flash light to another actor he says, "There is a big un raton in the cellar. Here is una luz."

  • #2
    Saw it at the drive in long long ago. That along with...The Creeping Unknown. Yes the perfect combo....ha!!!!

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    • #3
      Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

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      • #4
        Plan 9 from outerspace. Features a shower curtain in the cockpit of a jet.
        phsstt!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SQUACKEE
          Plan 9 from outerspace. Features a shower curtain in the cockpit of a jet.
          My favorite is indeed Plan 9. It was the absolute favorite of my Film Analysis class also. There's just so much to enjoy in that film (sic).

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          • #6
            If I'm not mistaken all of the shrews in 'Killer Shrews' are played by dogs.

            Genius!!!

            Still not as bad as Mama Mia though. Like a Halifax advert but with a smaller budget.

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            • #7
              I found myself killing time in a cabin near Corpus Christi, TX recently and ended up watching most of a 1955 movie called Big House, USA. It was the worst thing I have watched for more than about five minutes since I was a kid watching Creature Features. It did have Broderick Crawford, Lon Chaney Jr., Charles Bronson (who was pumped, almost steroidal looking) and William Talman (Perry Mason's Hamilton Burger), but was ham-handed beyond belief.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by bad hammy
                but was ham-handed beyond belief.
                So anything you touch, goes really badly?

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                • #9
                  Some movies are just plain bad (Catwoman or Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre) and some are so bad that they are good (some of Ed Wood's stuff) but Turner Classic Movies recently telecast one the greatest bad movies I've ever seen...The World's Greatest Sinner. Timothy Carey (Beach Blanket Bingo, "Hello, Booby...") financed, wrote, produced and starred in it.

                  cman :shock:

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Marlow
                    Originally posted by bad hammy
                    but was ham-handed beyond belief.
                    So anything you touch, goes really badly?
                    Nope, it is all good . . .

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                    • #11
                      Can Hieryonmus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Hump and Find True Happiness

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                      • #12
                        Re: Great Gawd-Awful Movies...

                        Think I might have written this before somewhere, but one of the worst I've ever seen was a mid-seventies flick called "Doc Savage" starring Ron Ely (Tarzan on the late sixties television show--also not very good; walked all over the original mythology regarding the characters. Even had a cute kid sidekick).

                        For those who came in late, Doc Savage was a pulp character created by Lester Dent (writing under the pseudonym Kenneth Robeson). As usual for the pulps, Dent churned out two 120+ page novels per month. The Doc Savage character was described in the ads as "--an intellectual genius, a physical superman." This was in the mid-thirties; in 1939 Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel borrowed the term--along with Hitler's 1936 personalized "Aryan superman/race" terms--for a comic-book character they created. The character, who wears a red cape with an "S" on his chest, has been around a while now. :]


                        Anyway, the Doc Savage character was a great one, a pioneer in adventure, much as the James Bond character. But this movie was made in a hybrid of serious and the old "camp" style of the Batman TV show, and in trying to blend both, the producers got nothing. Instead, it was horrible.


                        I remember one scene where Doc and his men were supposed to be hacking their way through a thickly-vegetated Central American jungle, but the budget for props must have been nonexistant, because the actors were swinging machetes at potted plants spaced so far apart they had to step into them before swinging! Another memory was the "love scene" (Doc, like most pulp heroes, was chaste). Doc had these gold-flaked eyes that were described in the books as "hypnotic." Love scene has Doc and native girl looking into each other's eyes, and...DING! (with sound!) goes one of these starburst effects from his "twinkling" eyes! Impressed with the girl's strength of character and loyalty to her tribe, he gives the girl one of these fist-knuckle shoves to the chin and tells her, "You're a brick." Bond would have howled...


                        I wish I could find this bad-boy on DVD or video. I would throw regular viewing parties. It was that bad.

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                        • #13
                          Today I saw my new 'worst movie of the year', which seein' as how we're in December, makes it a shoo-in for the 2008 award. I'll give you a hint - the last time we saw this character on the big screen was 2004, and the film then was one of my faves of the year, despite a heavy violence factor. This year's version is so bad that the highlight is when the bad guys go after the hero's friend's mother, who has Alzheimer's and just sits there and watches TV. When the bad guys leave, we get a nice close-up of the half-head that remains, with explicit details. Sheer class.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Marlow
                            Originally posted by SQUACKEE
                            Plan 9 from outerspace. Features a shower curtain in the cockpit of a jet.
                            My favorite is indeed Plan 9. It was the absolute favorite of my Film Analysis class also. There's just so much to enjoy in that film (sic).
                            The perfect Bad Movie Combo: "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "Robot Monster." No one who sees these will ever be quite the same again...

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kuha
                              No one who sees these will ever be quite the same again...
                              Which explains why you are damaged goods. What's my excuse? :twisted:

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