No announcement yet.

BCS Declares Germany Winner Of WWII


Unconfigured Ad Widget

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • BCS Declares Germany Winner Of WWII

    (internet jibe from a Longhorn fan)


    US Ranked 4th

    After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS
    computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS 
    declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

    "Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with
    the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into 
    conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, 
    Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against
    the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work-- 
    including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers 
    deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

    Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS 
    commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and 
    Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head- to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, 
    equally-weighted event."

    German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we
    defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been 
    criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to 
    enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland 
    was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were 
    incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional 

    The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " 
    France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 
    ranking they only fell to #2." 

    Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the 

  • #2
    Fortunately there was a 4-team playoff that year.

    In Semi #1 Germany was pounded by # 4 USA with a balanced ground and air attack. Coach Eisenhower had this to say, "I was surprised how easily they crumbled in the Red Zone." German Coach Hitler left the stadium before the end of the contest and has been unreachable for comment. Winning QB, George Patton, had this to say, "We decided we were not going to give up yardage to the enemy; they were going to give up yardage to us!"

    In the other semi, Japan was declared the winner when France failed to show for the game and had to forfeit. Rumor has it that several coaches and players were seen leaving town as early as last week.

    In the Championship Game, Japan raced out to an early lead with a murderous air attack that took the USA by surprise. Offensive Coordinator, FD Roosevelt declared the first quarter, "a period that will live in infamy" and vowed a big comeback at half time. Sure enough, in the second half, the USA overwhelmed the opposition with a multifaceted attack. In the final minutes of the game, the USA unveiled an unbeatable play, where the USA unleashed the BIg Bomb upfield and devastated the Japan defense with two big scores. The Japanese team appeared to give up after that, and the game was called early as Japan's coach threw in the towel.

    The world community agreed that the playoff was an excellent idea. "We need to play these things out on the field," was a common response.


    • #3
      I feel like I shouldn't laugh ... but this is just too funny, great idea and a creative way to put the frustration as a Longhorn fan.


      • #4
        Very clever Marlow. I'm impressed.


        • #5
          Dang, Marlow, did you compose that masterpiece? Brilliant.....!!!! Seriously.

          But we ain't gonna give the trophy back. :evil: