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  • #31
    Originally posted by gh
    Some very good (if you can tolerate gallows humor) swine flu e-mails going around. Being an inveterate punner, this has to be my favorite:

    It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly.....

    Sure enough, 100 days into Obama's presidency - the swine flu!
    Haha yeah I got that one in a text message.
    The fool has said...there is no God. Psa 14


    • #32
      There's a couple of good ones doing the rounds here but I don't know if they'll translate to American ...

      I think I must have it ... I keep coming out in rashers!

      I phoned the government helpline to find out more but all I got was crackling!

      I don't think I can post the Winnie the Pooh and Piglet spoofs. Every one I've seen has swearing in it.


      • #33
        Originally posted by jhc68
        Savage is aptly named. Are people in your areas as hysterical as they are in mine?

        I live on the California coast in a very wealthy, highly educated tourist town. Two cruise ships have been diverted from trips to Mexico to stops here this weekend and some locals are going nuts about it.
        The Black Death.


        • #34
          You mean, "If he sneezes....." ?


          • #35
            "Bring out ya' dead! ..........Bring out ya' dead!"


            • #36
              Originally posted by gh
              You mean, "If he sneezes....." ?
              Ah, you've seen them too! :lol:


              • #37


                • #38
                  Bring out yer dead.

                  Here's one.

                  That'll be ninepence.

                  I'm not dead.


                  Nothing. There's your ninepence.

                  I'm not dead.

                  'Ere, he says he's not dead.

                  Yes he is.

                  I'm not.

                  He isn't.

                  Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.

                  I'm getting better.

                  No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

                  I don't want to go on the cart.

                  Oh, don't be such a baby.


                  • #39
                    Has matt marriott been in yet?

                    I'm half expecting him to show up and tell that this is a man made virus.


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by DrJay
                      Dr Jay - as an internist, I assume you are being swamped by patients calling about this? I saw a family practice doc yesterday in my office as a patient, who told me this is all the calls her office is getting.


                      • #41
                        The latest pun - apparently doctors are worried about running out of oinkment.

                        I'll get my coat.


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by bambam
                          Originally posted by DrJay
                          Dr Jay - as an internist, I assume you are being swamped by patients calling about this? I saw a family practice doc yesterday in my office as a patient, who told me this is all the calls her office is getting.
                          Actually, not too many, for a 10-doc practice. I think I've had a couple of patients call and ask for a script for Tamiflu because they were going travelling (no symptoms so they didn't get it), and that was Monday. Only one who was a bit over the top, came back from Mexico and had his usual, chronic sinus problems but no fever nor cough, yet was petrified he had swine flu and the nurse who tried to talk him down on the phone met with a lot of hostility. A few patients of my partners' needing letters to help get travel refunds (not sure what a letter from one of us will achieve that the general media hasn't.)


                          • #43
                            Here's one. At Georgia Tech, as at most schools, at graduation you get your diploma and shake hands with the President of the school. At today's graduation, all grads will be given hand sanitizers (presumably to protect the President) and hand shaking will be optional (presumably to protect students worried that the President may have the flue and transmit it by shaking their hand).

                            I'm not making this up.

                   ... s0502.html


                            • #44
                              There's a wonderful piece on this on the web site of the Sydney Morning Herald. The headline is "God Warned Us."

                     ... -aqsx.html

                              If there's one valuable lesson to be learnt from this wretched epidemic of swine influenza, it is that you should avoid exchanging bodily fluids with pigs, at all costs, especially if you are in Mexico, where you don't know with whom and where they have been.
                              It gets funnier, although those who are very devoted to the Bible may find it objectionable. (No, not the Bible Of The Sport. The Other One.)


                              • #45
                                The hypocrisy of a Daily Mail columnist accusing other entities of scaremongering only makes this barb funnier:

                                The health-scare ‘experts’ are having a field day with their Doomsday predictions.

                                One virologist, on the basis of precisely nothing, said swine flu could become crossed with bird flu and mutate into an ‘ Armageddon’ strain.

                                I suppose we’d have to call that ‘flying pig flu’.
                                He goes on to suggest the government needn't bother wasting money on a public information campaign because ... well, because the the health scare experts are running flying pig flu on their front pages every day so people should get their information from them instead.

                                The other day I swear I heard one of their journalists criticise "quangocrats" for speaking in jargon....