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Does our "Lone Wolf" have a secret life?

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  • #16
    Seconds tick by when suddenly nothing happens. Just then Barney, Lonewolf's trusty, x-rodeo clown turned british butler, flies in to the room out of breath and slightly disheveled. "Sir, are you expecting a Pirate ship looking to fill up on gas or did i take one to many Brahma Bull head shots in my rodeo days?"
    phsstt!

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    • #17
      "Why do you ask, Barney", said Lonewolf.

      "Because there's one in the foyer sir and its full of big tough sailors all asking the same question." Said Barney

      "What are they asking Barney?" said Lonewolf

      "Are we there yet?!" replied Barney. :P
      phsstt!

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      • #18
        >>Location: Pale, tired and ready for a nap<<

        I guess that explains it, SQUACKEE.

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        • #19
          Well, it is heating up but my advice to your guys is, if you have aspirations of a future in literature, don't quit your day jobs until you get that first advance/royalty check.
          In my capacity as editor and chief nit-picker I must point out:
          1. squak, my desk is walnut, not plebian oak, and those tremors were not from the bowels of the mansion but were the predictable aftermath of an ill-advised Tex-Mex lunch.
          2. tandfman, in the interest of technical accuracy, please research the difference in natural "gas" and "gasoline".
          But, perhaps it is a moot point since three masted schooners are not known to operate on either but this forum definitely runs on bs which does eminate methane gas, a potential fuel just as soon as someone invents the internal combustion engine.
          Be not dismayed, ya gotta expect constructive criticism in the author game
          Oh, yeah. Barney is a pink dinosaur. I am not quite that old and, besides, Barney is an inapproriate name for a rodeo clown. Ex-rodeo clowns are usually referred to as "the late " Colt/ Cody/ Cooter/Buck/Waco, One-eyed Pete, Jakeleg or other short descriptive reference to their previous profession or geographical origin.
          I have no experience in employing or naming British butlers, preferring the loyal native savage, so you are on your own there..

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          • #20
            Genius is often misunderstood so i shall carry on. There are some who quite enjoy my wrting.

            Lonewolf makes it down the 23 flights of stairs to the foyer and confronts Captain Webb with the obvious question, " Where in the hell ya gonna put gas in a Pirate ship, you freak?"

            Webb laughs out loud and says" The gas TANK , ya big silly. Now get pumping!"
            phsstt!

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by lonewolf
              2. tandfman, in the interest of technical accuracy, please research the difference in natural "gas" and "gasoline".
              But, perhaps it is a moot point since three masted schooners are not known to operate on either
              Trust me, I know the difference between natural gas and gasoliine. I just assumed from the captain's reference to gas that he was referring to gasoline, and I also assumed that your business was oil, not natural gas.

              I confess that I overlooked the reference to the three-masted schooner (which was not in SQUACKEE's narrative). Did such ships ever sail the Mississippi or the nearby inland waters that seem to be the subject of this narrative? Not to my knowledge, but my knowledge in this area is scant.

              Continue the voyage when ready, SQUACKEE.

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              • #22
                Captain Webb's speech and persona is making be a little uncomfortable. He doesn't wear a lace shirt does he?

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by lonewolf
                  Captain Webb's speech and persona is making be a little uncomfortable. He doesn't wear a lace shirt does he?
                  All Pirate captains wear white fluffy and lacy shirts except the ones from Somalia and Pittsburgh.
                  phsstt!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by SQUACKEE
                    Genius is often misunderstood so i shall carry on. There are some who quite enjoy my wrting.

                    Lonewolf makes it down the 23 flights of stairs to the foyer and confronts Captain Webb with the obvious question, " Where in the hell ya gonna put gas in a Pirate ship, you freak?"

                    Webb laughs out loud and says" The gas TANK , ya big silly. Now get pumping!"
                    No lady in distress. How can we have pirates, gassy lonewolf and no lady in distress? Who will save her? Can't wait.
                    "A beautiful theory killed by an ugly fact."
                    by Thomas Henry Huxley

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by lonewolf
                      He doesn't wear a lace shirt does he?
                      I'm expecting far worse.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Ya missed the left turn up the Arkansas River, tandfman. Now had they ventured up the tributaries of the Achafalaya to the Red River, in the late 1880s,shallow draft sailboats did get as far upstream as present day Lake Texoma.

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                        • #27
                          Yeah, time to introduce a damsel. brunette, about 5-6, 110#, B-cup.

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                          • #28
                            [quote="Pego"][quote="SQUACKEE"]

                            Captain Webb pleads with Lonewolf, " Ya gotta help man, i keep running out of gas!"

                            " I know, maybe you should move up to the 10,000?" said Lonewolf.

                            Just then the faint scream of a young lady wearing a pushup bra and tied up in the hull of a ship breaks the silence at the exact same time as Webb breaks wind.

                            "What was that?" asks Lonewolf

                            "Nothing" states Captain Webb, "Move along, nothin to se here."

                            Lonewolf's face turns bright red as he exclaims,"But I live here dammit"!
                            phsstt!

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Just at that moment, the first Mate, Fernandez, came on deck.
                              Captain Webb shouted out, Fernandez, I though you knew the way to Oklahoma. I do, said Fernandez, but you were leading, so I thought I would just follow for a while. By the way, you missed the Red, the Arkansas, and the Chickasaw exits...
                              Captain Webb was distracted by a comely lass walking on the river bank. Helloooo, he exclaimed. Hi Sailor, she said, can you give me a ride back to Kansas.....my name is Dorothy, by the way. And take that stupid parrot off your shoulder... To be clear, this particular Dorothy was in her mid-20's, just to clear that up, and give the story more "upside", without risking any Lettermanesque slips....
                              No, the Captain said, we're looking for the Oil Wizard - he lives in Oklahama....
                              Oh, I know the Wizard, says Dorothy....Let me take you there.....
                              Okay, says Webbie, and he gives the bird to Fernandez, and sets off with Dorothy

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by lonewolf
                                don't quit your day jobs until you get that first advance/royalty check.
                                I see what you mean:
                                Originally posted by Squackee
                                off they went with the wind at their back
                                If they were heading west, wouldn't the wind be in their face? Or is the effect of one mother of a northeasterly?

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