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St. Timothy

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  • St. Timothy

    This week’s Sports Illustrated cover-boy (ain’t no jinx gonna touch him!) is none other than St. Timothy of Tebow, the patron saint of college football. The cover story is 7 pages long with 2 full page photos and 3 other good sized ones . . . and it has very little to do with football. It is all about the imminent beatification and eventual (fast-tracked) canonization of him, the first person to be sainted BEFORE he is elected Pope (and he’s not even Catholic!).

    Tebow-watching has become the state passion and even the most ardent Gator Haters (Miami used to be the Yankees of Florida, but clearly UF has now donned that mantle) have to admit a secret love for Tim Terrific. Gainesville may a butt-ugly town (city motto: Low culture is better than none – yee-haw), but it is the state capital every fall.

    The obvious question is: when does the pendulum start its swing the other way? Nothing this good can last. No human being can be this good (well, since the clocks moved from BC to AD), can he? All eyes are on him 24/7 waiting for the façade to crack. When will his Phelpsian bong hit moment come?

    I’m the proud parent of two 'Noles, but even I can’t get enough of this Media Freak! Where will it all end?

    Contrarian opinions welcome! :twisted:

  • #2
    You need to get out more. Over on the correct coast he is a total non-entity.

    Contrarian opinions given! :P

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    • #3
      Tim Who?

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      • #4
        Great - replies from two antediluvian fossil-brained out-of-touch curmudgeons!! ! :twisted: :P

        Now that we've heard from the Happy Acres Nursing Home crowd, any others? 8-)

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        • #5
          I am soooo honored to live in a place where college football is only on the radar at a time of year when there are actually games going on.

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          • #6
            He wasn't the best pure QB in the SEC last year, and he's lucky this year that that QB left early to be the #1 pick in the NFL draft.
            There are no strings on me

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            • #7
              Originally posted by gh
              I am soooo honored to live in a place where college football is only on the radar at a time of year when there are actually games going on.
              That IS one of the concomitant problems. All we get here now is Tebow-TV; it really is kind of maddening!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by guru
                He wasn't the best pure QB in the SEC last year, and he's lucky this year that that QB left early to be the #1 pick in the NFL draft.
                One could even argue that McCoy is the best of this coming year's Terrific Trio (SB, TT, CM).

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Marlow
                  Now that we've heard from the Happy Acres Nursing Home crowd, any others? 8-)
                  I am sooooo much younger than you, but whatever . . .

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by bad hammy
                    I am sooooo much younger than you, but whatever . .
                    Only in calendar years, you geezer! My arrested-development-pre-pubescent-emotionally-stunted personality keeps me much younger mentally! 8-)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Marlow
                      My arrested-development-pre-pubescent-emotionally-stunted personality keeps me much younger mentally! 8-)
                      Buy yourself a present.

                      http://www.zazzle.com/staying_immature_ ... 4825602450

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by tandfman
                        Buy yourself a present.
                        The misspelling in the best part!!

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                        • #13
                          It's part of being immature!

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                          • #14
                            Have you seen Tebow lists - similar to Chuck Norris lists of his great feats. "Tim Tebow has counted to infinity - twice." "When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down." They're all over the Internet.

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                            • #15
                              When Tim Tebow was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he threw a football at the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

                              Tim Tebow has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

                              When it rains in the swamp Tim Tebow doesn't get wet. The rain gets Tim Tebow'd.

                              A picture is worth a thousand words. A Tim Tebow is worth 1 billion words.

                              Tim Tebow CAN believe it's not butter.

                              The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.

                              On his birthday, Tim Tebow randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

                              Tim Tebow picked up the city of New Orleans with his pinky, and drained it.

                              Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Tim Tebow pass.

                              Tim Tebow's hand is the only hand that beats a Royal Flush.

                              If tapped, a Tim Tebow rush could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

                              Tim Tebow can divide by zero.

                              Tim Tebow has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

                              Blood normally accounts for 13% of a person's total body weight... the other 87% of Tebow is badass.

                              Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

                              When taking the SAT, write 'Tim Tebow' for every answer. You will score more than 1600.

                              Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

                              Tim Tebow played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

                              Tim Tebow doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Tim Tebow throws down!

                              Life doesn't give Tim Tebow lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.

                              Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined 'victim' as 'one who has encountered Tim Tebow'

                              There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Tim Tebow lives in Florida.

                              Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

                              It takes Tim Tebow 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

                              Tim Tebow CAN touch MC Hammer.

                              Tim Tebow once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

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