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  • measurement humor

    from somewhere on the Net (bada-boom! I'll be here all week, try the veal)

    Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
    2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
    1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
    Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
    Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
    Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
    365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
    16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
    Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
    1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
    Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
    Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line.
    453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
    1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
    1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
    2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
    10 cards: 1 decacards
    1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
    1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
    1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
    1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
    10 rations: 1 decoration
    100 rations: 1 C-ration
    2 monograms: 1 diagram
    8 nickels: 2 paradigms
    3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
    100 Senators: Not 1 decision

  • #2
    Don't quit the day job

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by gh View Post
      16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
      When you've been teaching math for 21 years you don't see many new numbers jokes, but this one I liked.

      Comment


      • #4
        These should be impeachable.. if they were not so groanable.. and funny.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by gh View Post
          Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
          Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
          16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
          1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
          100 Senators: Not 1 decision
          I am so dropping those into upcoming conversations!!!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by AyZiggy View Post
            When you've been teaching math for 21 years you don't see many new numbers jokes, but this one I liked.
            In your 21 years have you actually ever mentioned a rod?
            I know I learned it in high school, but way back then we also used cubits :-)

            Comment


            • #7
              Rods and chains came up once or twice in conversation. Also, my old-school liberal upbringing has a special place for Serling.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by gh View Post
                In your 21 years have you actually ever mentioned a rod?
                I know I learned it in high school, but way back then we also used cubits :-)
                At some point in my life I knew what knots and nautical miles were (in terms of speed and measurement units with which I was familiar) but I no longer have any recollection of what they are.

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                • #9
                  nautical miles have had multiple definitions through the years, as I recall

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by AyZiggy View Post
                    Rods and chains came up once or twice in conversation. Also, my old-school liberal upbringing has a special place for Serling.
                    Attend Antioch College, Yellow Springs, Ohio?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by gh View Post
                      In your 21 years have you actually ever mentioned a rod?
                      I know I learned it in high school, but way back then we also used cubits :-)
                      'Tis true, which is exactly why we all think today's children are spoiled. . .

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